When your parents had “the talk” with you about the birds and the bees, they probably didn’t cover the possibility of getting pregnant from an*l s*x. And for good reason—because about 999,999 times out of a million, it’s impossible. But let me tell you about that one in a million chance when it did happen.
Dr. Brian Steixner, a urologist from the Jersey Urology Group in Atlantic City, witnessed this rare phenomenon during his med school days. Picture this: a young, pregnant woman strolls into the emergency department, not feeling quite right. She’s spotting, which isn’t entirely uncommon during pregnancy. The twist? The blood is coming from her rectum. Cue the dramatic music.
This woman had a rare condition known as cloacal malformation. It’s a congenital anomaly where instead of having separate openings for the urethra, vagina, and anus, she had just one single opening called a cloaca. Yes, birds have these too, but it’s quite a shocker in humans, especially since it occurs in about one in 25,000 female births.
Now, usually, cloacal malformations are corrected with surgery right after birth, creating separate passages for urine, feces, and reproductive functions. Our heroine’s surgery didn’t go as planned, though. Either the surgery was a flop, or her body decided to improvise a bit too creatively. She ended up with a fistula—an abnormal connection between her rectum and her uterus.
So, every month when Aunt Flo visited, she had her period rectally. Meanwhile, her vagina was a dead-end street, leading nowhere. Kind of like trying to exit a funhouse maze after too much cotton candy.
Dr. Steixner learned that this woman had only ever had an*l s*x. That’s right—no vaginal intercourse at all. The pieces started to fit together like an awkward but intriguing puzzle. Her uterus and rectum were connected in such a way that the sperm managed to take an extraordinary detour, leading to pregnancy. This mind-blowing situation resulted in her becoming pregnant through an*l s*x.
Months later, she delivered a healthy baby via C-section because, let’s face it, no one wanted to see her attempt to “poop” out a baby. It’s safe to say this case left Dr. Steixner and everyone else in the ER slack-jawed.
While this story is a medical marvel, it’s crucial to note that living with a cloacal malformation can be challenging, even after surgical correction. The delicate work required to separate the urethra, vagina, and rectum can lead to lifelong issues, including urinary and fecal incontinence. These complications can have a significant psychological and quality of life impact.
But in case you were wondering, despite any minor mishaps during cloacal repairs, things do look pretty “normal” down there. So, no guy would likely be poking around, scratching his head, and asking, “What happened here?”
So, the next time someone brings up bizarre medical cases, you can share this jaw-dropping tale. Just be prepared for some wide-eyed stares and the inevitable follow-up question: “Wait, seriously?” Yes, seriously. Life is stranger than fiction, folks!
